Self-Esteem Is Not a Gift

Parenting in 2009 is really hard – even my mother says so. Every decision is scrutinized and “what’s best” for the child seems to always be the goal. What ever happened to Winnicott’s notion of a “good-enough mother”? I ask this because there is so much angst in parenting today. What are we worrying about? Why are we trying to make all of the “best” decisions?

It’s all about “self-esteem.” Seems like a good goal, but people are going about it in really strange ways. All too often I hear things like:

• Too much competition can hurt self-esteem.
• Being the youngest in a class can be hard for him.
• Being the oldest/biggest/strongest boy will make him more confident.
• Taking “enrichment” classes after school will make her feel smarter.

Really?

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